Focus & Failure
by Emerald Lotus
Summary: The story consists of two vignettes focusing mainly on the relationship between Mikey and Leo. The first part takes place during the final moments of "Parasitica" where the guys are cleaning up the lair. They really don't give Mikey the credit he deserves. And the second part takes place in the beginning of season 3 after Leo is injured.He needs the comfort only family can provide.
1. Focus

_Part One: Focus_

The fight with the killer, mind-control bugs had left quite the disaster in the lair. Gross goo was splattered across the entrance to their home, covering the walls and turnstiles. Raph and Leo were doing their best to get rid of the mess with their small battalion of buckets and mops, but the process was definitely going to take some time.

"I can't believe Mikey actually came through," Raph said to Leo.

"And I can't believe Mikey actually fired the cannon in the lair," Leo shook his head and continued mopping.

"I told you, you should let me shoot it more often," Mikey called over to them happily. Mikey and Donnie were near the subway tracks, working on the Shellraiser. Or rather Donnie was working while Mikey "supervised" with pizza and soda in hand.

"Pizza me!" Mikey held his hand down expectantly to Donnie. The box of half eaten pepperoni and jelly-bean pizza they ordered a half hour ago sat on the ground near his tool box.

Donnie was bent over welding the holes shut in the Shellraiser's door that the mutant wasps had punctured through. He lifted up his goggles, looked at Mikey's waiting hand, and then promptly returned to his work, "No, I'm not gonna pizza you."

"I guess you're right. It's not like I did something totally brave, and saved your life." Mikey sipped at his soda again. The straw made the sounds synonymous with a nearly empty cup.

"You did save our lives," Leo said, overhearing their conversation. He walked closer to the Shellraiser. "But you also used my favorite comic book as toilet paper!" Leo slammed his hand against the metal vehicle right above Mikey's shoulder as the memory came back to him.

Mikey quickly ducked under his arm, freeing himself. "Yeah, but I only did it so you'd chase me."

"Well it worked!" Leo crouched like he was going to jump at Mikey.

Mikey turned to run. "Wait, stop!"

Leo pounced on Mikey sending him to the floor with his arm pinned behind his back, as well as knocking the cup of soda out of his hand. It rolled across the floor spilling the remainder of his drink and ice cubes across the room. Mikey wriggled underneath him trying to roll and gain some leverage, but Leo prevented him from moving.

"I can't believe you used my favorite comic as toilet paper! How could you?" Leo said angrily.

"Ow, ow ease up man!" Mikey cried out, the pressure in his arm increasing. Leo was seriously ticked off about it. "Give me some credit, dude!" He stopped squirming and went lax into the floor.

"Payback, Michelangelo."

"I put it back in your special, air-tight box. It's fine!" Mikey shouted, his voice slightly muffled because he was facedown.

Leo let go of Mikey's arm. "Really? You're just saying that to save yourself."

"Dude, I'm not a total airhead. I was just trying to get your attention before. I wasn't going to destroy something you worked so hard to get a hold of," Mikey pushed himself to his knees. His shoulder was sore from being wrenched in Leo's grip.

Leo looked surprised, and unsure of what to say next. "Oh, uh thanks then."

Mikey got up from the floor. Looking at his brothers he was so glad that they weren't being controlled by the crazy, jellybean wasp egg, but sometimes he wanted to knock them senseless. Did they always find him to be so incompetent with the things around him?

He wanted to confront them now, say something, but all that came out was "I need more soda," so he picked up the plastic cup off the floor and headed for the kitchen.

Mikey plopped himself down on one of the stools. He was tired. They had been up since six in the morning and the whole thing with the wasps had wiped him out. Or perhaps he was just groggy from the antidote still.

He rested his head on the counter. His mind was restless. Thoughts jumped around in his head, sparking like a packet of pop rocks he ate last Halloween. He wished they would just settle and let him think on one solid thought for once.

_Were all the wasps really gone?_

_ Will Donnie let me trade places with Raph in the Shellraiser?_

_ I hope I didn't screw up the serum at all. _

_ Zombies…_

_Did Raph eat the rest of my pizza again?_

_ Should I start dinner soon?_

_Was I really all that useless in a fight to my brothers? _

_ Pizza….Zombies_

_Do they not see me as an equal?_

Mikey shook his head, trying to make the thoughts disappear into the recesses of his mind. Everything was all right now. He didn't need to worry. His brothers were safe and that's all that mattered…right?

Yet the lingering feelings of doubt still clung onto him. His eyes had been opened to his brother's feelings about him, and perhaps he had known it all along and just turned a blind eye to it. When they had first confronted the Shredder on that rooftop months ago a similar situation had happened. His brothers had just pushed him aside. Neither one wanting him on their side. So he sort of knew that they didn't see him exactly as an equal. Really they treated him more like a child, and maybe he brought that upon himself.

Lately, there was plenty of proof in front of him that he's constantly shoved aside. His ideas were always shot down the minute they sprung from his lips, and being bait was apparently the only thing he was truly good at.

They just didn't see him as being capable of intelligent thought. When he actually pulled through and saved them from the wasps, they were shocked. Raph made the comment about what he did as "being smart." Mikey just shrugged it off as part of Raph's attitude, when it was really a genuine, shocked reaction.

Sure, Mikey doesn't always pay attention. He knows that he can drift off during lessons in the dojo, and can't always remember what he's being told to do. It's just the way his brain works. Hands on, he can understand things a little better. Like using his weapons. It's something that comes naturally to him, because he can feel them in his hands and see how they're moving, and then do with them what he needs to. It doesn't require a whole lot of thinking, really. Well, Donnie would argue about that, but for Mikey using his weapons had become second nature.

Mikey huffed, and rolled his head to the side listening to the sounds his brothers were making in the other room. If only they would take the time to understand. Mikey was smart…just in his own way.

He got up from the stool he was perched on and decided to go to his room. Maybe reading a comic would be a good stress reliever, or just going to sleep. He just wanted the tightness that had decided to make itself present in his chest to go away.

Mikey exited the kitchen quietly, attempting to implement his stealth skills. However he did not go unnoticed by his brothers.

"Mikey," Leo called out to him. "Um, are you okay?"

He turned to them, and gave a small smile. "Sure, bro."

"Oh yeah? Then why are you crying, Mikey?" Raph asked, concern on the edge of his voice.

Mikey swiped at his eyes and sure enough there were tears there dripping into the edges of his mask. He didn't even realize it had happened, but once he did they wouldn't stop. "I'm not crying…I was chopping onions?" He shook his head, and tried to keep himself from sniffling.

Raph came up next to him, placing a hand on his shoulder, "Come on, Mikey. Tell me what's bothering you."

Mikey breathed a few staggering breaths so he could speak. "It's okay. I'm fine, dude." Mikey shrugged Raph's hand off his shoulder. "I've, uh, just had a long day." He finished and moved to the sunken space they used as their living room. He flopped down into a bean bag on his plastron, and turned the television on.

Raph was about to follow after him, but Leo stopped him. "I think he needs a moment."

"Where did that even come from?" Raph was watching Mikey from a distance. Donnie came over to join them.

"Something wrong, guys?"

"Mikey's getting emotional," Raph answered. "He started crying out of nowhere."

"I think that we may have done something to hurt him," Leo looked back over to where Mikey was lying on the bean bag. His face buried in his arms. It made Leo frown. He hated seeing Mikey upset, all of the brothers did really. Not that it happened very often.

Leo headed over to where Mikey was, "Come on, guys." He motioned for Donnie and Raph to follow.

The three of them jumped down into the pit, and sat around Mikey. "Mikey," Leo called to him. "We'd like to speak with you, okay?"

"There's nothing to say," he said, voice muffled since he was still face first in the bean bag. "Everything's wonderful."

Mikey glanced up to see if his answer would satisfy them, but of course it didn't. Instead Raph gave him that look like he knew Mikey wasn't saying everything. He always knew how to get Mikey to confess. It was like a superpower, and Mikey had a really hard time keeping secrets from him anyway.

He flipped himself around so that he was sitting upright, and with a heavy sigh Mikey said, "Fine, you wanna talk. Let's start with this. I'm not useless, and I'm not stupid. Okay?"

"Where did that even come from?" Raph was the first one to ask the question they were all thinking.

"What do you mean 'where'? You're always saying how stupid I am. And when I actually do something remotely good, you're…amazed!" He threw his hands in the air. "How could I even have pulled off making a cure for you guys today if I don't have a brain, huh?"

"Look, Mikey we're sorry." Leo started in an attempt to console Mikey. "We didn't think—"

"Oh! You didn't think?" Mikey burst out. "Really? Because I thought that was my job. The useless, empty-minded, joke of a brother." A sob caught in his throat at the end of his outburst, which quickly escalated into full out crying.

The three of them looked on in dismay at their upset younger brother. They wanted to comfort him, but it seemed that any attempts were going to ultimately fail at the moment.

"Mikey," Donnie coaxed gently. "We don't think you're stupid. You've just got a different way of doing things. How long have you been thinking this way?"

Mikey just shrugged with a sniffle. "You guys are always saying things, sometimes small things, other times you really don't think I can handle a task. You're constantly shooting down my ideas, and I guess I finally hit a wall. I can't shrug it off anymore."

"We don't always shoot down your ideas," Raph countered.

"Oh? How about when we first found the bee. If you had just let me catch it with my kusarigama chain, you guys wouldn't have been turned into slobbering zombies. Maybe I don't always have the best ideas, but I can't help the way my brain works, you know?"

"And, um, what exactly do you mean by that last bit?" Leo asked gently. He honestly wanted to see where Mikey was coming from. It was the only way they would be able to move forward.

Mikey looked up and wiped at his eyes. He was quiet for a moment thinking how best to phrase it, "Okay, remember when we were little and we found the cardboard tube with all the beads in it. And when you turned it, the beads would make different patterns in the light?"

"The kaleidoscope?" Donnie questioned.

"Yeah, that. I feel like my brain is like that. Every time a new idea is added, it gets harder to find the original image, you know what I mean? It's hard to focus, constantly shifting, and it's not always clear. Except if I'm working on something, katas or skateboarding, I'm fine. Most of the time though I have trouble focusing." Mikey said trailing off.

"Oh, of course!" Donnie burst out. The others just looked at him with confused expression. "I'm sorry, I should have caught on sooner. That makes so much sense."

"What are you going on about, Donnie?" Raph asked. Both he and Leo lost at Donnie's reaction.

"Well, I can't be completely certain, but in some of the medical texts I've read through it describes what Mikey is talking about. Hold on, I'll go grab the book," Donnie got up and ran to his lab, the others waiting for him.

Mikey groaned. "He's gonna start lecturing, isn't he?"

A loud crash could be heard, and Donnie called out "I'm okay," before showing up again. "The book was under a pile of my lab equipment." He came back over, sat down in-between Leo and Raph, and opened the book to a page he had marked. "I think it's possible that Mikey has ADHD."

Mikey gasped. "Is that contagious?"

Donnie shook his head. "Not at all. It's just means that your brain is wired a little differently."

"Wait…really? So you get what I'm trying to say?" Mikey asked. He didn't want them to keep shooting him down, and brushing him off. "I mean I know I joke a lot, and that's not gonna change. But you guys know I can be serious too, just give me a chance."

"We know, Mikey" Leo was smiling at him. "We should have taken you more seriously, and never dismissed you in the first place."

"Besides, now that we've pinpointed this, we can adjust to suit you better," Donnie said, he pulled the book back and started reading from it. "I mean it may not be exact, but it says here some signs of ADHD are that you have trouble paying attention to details, doesn't appear to be listening when spoken to, and has trouble staying organized."

"Not being organized…that also explains Mikey's bedroom then." Raph joked, trying to lighten the mood some.

"Hey, I know exactly where everything is in my room…most of the time." Mikey replied.

"In all seriousness, we are sorry for upsetting you. I should have taken you more seriously, and not just brushed you off so quickly," Leo said. "And I'm really sorry I blamed you for ruining my comic books when you were innocent."

"Enough, bro. I get the picture." Mikey grinned, "Thanks for the apologies. It really means a lot to me. I'm just happy that you're all back to normal and no longer ravenous, slobbering zombies because I save your possessed butts."

"Yes, you did," Leo wrapped his arm around Mikey's shoulder, pulling him into a sideways, half hug. Even though he was upset, Mikey was always quick to bounce back. "We'll be more considerate from now on. We didn't know we were hurting you so much. I guess what we thought were jokes were becoming hurtful to you in the end."

"Sorry, bro," Raph added.

"You know how you can make it up to me?" Mikey pulled away from his Leo's embrace, a mischievous smile on his face. "Pizza me!" he held out his hand, palm up and wriggled his fingers expectantly. Leo rolled his eyes and then went to retrieve the rest of the pizza.

* * *

><p><strong>So here's the first part of the story I did for the TMNT mini bang on tumblr. I hope you like and please let me know what you thought! Thanks for reading!<strong>


	2. Failure

_Part Two: Failure_

The snow fell from the dark clouds above, muffling the warring state around him. It was cold, and his heart pounded an anxious rhythm in his chest. But Leo could not focus on that now as _he_ stood before him. Every step the Shredder took towards him, armor rattling with each movement, was sending warning bells off in Leo's head to turn and run.

No! That wasn't a choice anymore. He had to stay and fight.

With one sword snapped in half, and the other one still whole, he stood his ground. There was no possible way he could back down. His whole world was at risk. Everything he strived to protect, everything his father had fought for, was on the line. If he were stopped now, all of it would be lost.

Yet he knew he was utterly outmatched. Painstakingly, he made a final stand.

The pain lanced like lightning through his bones. The wind hit his skin, but now he was pretty much numb. Leo couldn't move his limbs with the usual swiftness necessary for combat. With every breath it felt like frost had formed in his lungs, freezing him to the core.

The enemy advanced, and he tried to defend himself.

He was too weak.

In an instant he was struck down to his knees and Leo could only look on at the inevitable as he was surrounded by the eyes of the enemy. His heartbeat ticked the seconds by. He knew what was coming for him, and yet was unable to anticipate the severity of his situation.

He blinked and the Shredder stood before him, raised his arm, and then cut him down.

Leonardo had failed.

His scream rang out through the house. Leo could still feel the phantom pain radiate throughout his body, his lungs felt strained. He quieted and tried to catch his breath. It was only a nightmare, or rather a very vivid replay.

He tried to calm himself, repeating that it was nothing more than a dream. Leo was safe now.

Until the door to his room opened suddenly. He had to fight the urge to bolt from his bed. But really there was no where he would even be able to go. Leo was crippled by his injuries, and ultimately trapped in the bedroom.

A shadow moved swiftly from the door over to him and came to his bedside, and another scream worked its way into Leo's throat.

"Dude!" the shadow called to him. "Leo. Leo, it's Mikey. You're okay, don't panic. It's all right now."

Without realizing it Leo had begun to hyperventilate, his breathing was much too rapid to form a response, but he could make out Mikey's face in the dim light of the moon that came in through the bedroom windows. It was his little brother standing before him, not that monster wearing the mask of a man.

It was just Mikey, and he's safe. Leo was safe. He repeated the word to himself as a mantra, and attempted to hold fast to its meaning.

"Was it a nightmare?" Mikey asked quietly. "Do you want to talk about it?"

Leo shook his head. Talking about it was not going to help. The memories were too fresh, and he did not wish to relive them so soon.

"All right, bro. Do you want me to stay with you for a while? Until you can fall asleep again, at least." Mikey offered.

With that suggestion he quickly realized he really didn't want to be alone again. That's how he had been struck down before…being separated from his family. "Yeah, please stay," Leo's voice was still rough from disuse, and it actually hurt to speak.

"Got it, bro. I won't go anywhere. Mind if I sit next to you? The bed's big enough."

Leo nodded his approval. Mikey smiled and walked around to the other side of the queen size bed, and climbed up into it; his shell made a light thud as he leaned against the headboard.

Mikey's hand comes up to rest on Leo's shoulder, "Why don't you lay back down? You need to sleep."

Leo hadn't realized he moved into a sitting position. It must have happened when he screamed himself awake. So Leo gently laid back down, trying not aggravate the aches and pains in his body.

Leo glanced sideways at Mikey, but he was looking out the window. He wasn't ignoring Leo, but he did it in a way to respect Leo's privacy as he settled back onto the bed. Mikey could see it was difficult for Leo to be in such a weak state.

"It's weird," Leo whispered after a moment.

It caught Mikey's attention and he looked back over to Leo. "What is?"

"Being in this house."

Mikey thought on that for a moment before he responded. "It is. You know I like it though, being able to wake when the sun's up, and sleep when it goes down. I mean sun came in through the grates in the lair, but this is all the time here," Mikey smiled. "It's nice."

"Like if we were normal teenagers," Leo said.

Mikey paused for a moment to consider that. "Yeah, I guess so. I do miss home though."

If Leo and his brothers were normal teenagers, Leo wouldn't have been fighting a war-crazed master ninja, vicious robots, and renegade mutants. Or at least it would certainly be less likely. They would have this life all the time, rather than having it be their hideout as aliens invaded their city.

Leo also wouldn't have been in a coma for three months of his life, hibernating in a bathtub because his body simply could not handle the damage it had endured.

"Bro," Mikey said softly. "I can't read your mind, that would be cool though, but I think I sort of know what you're feeling right now. Actually, I think we can all relate some."

He looked over to his brother. Mikey couldn't possibly know how defeated he felt. It was something that clawed at his very soul.

"Don't look at me like that," Mikey said with a frown. "I've been smacked down my fair share of times too. There was that one time with Snakeweed in the sewers, another time with Slash…twice in the same night, man. That was pretty brutal. And…and that time in the butcher shop."

Leo could hear a small tremor to Mikey's voice, something that didn't present itself often with his youngest brother. Tiger Claw had beaten Mikey into unconsciousness. It was understandable that it upset him. At the time he had been out for at least a day and a half afterwards. When he was lying in bed Leo didn't know if he would be okay, and watched over him vigilantly until he woke up again. A smile being the first thing to grace his lips.

So maybe it wasn't so outrageous of an idea that Mikey knew where Leo was coming from. He really was empathetic to his feelings.

"I know," Mikey said, breaking Leo's train of thought. "That it's scary, bro. And maybe my experiences don't quite add up to yours, but you're not alone. Ever." Mikey had started to slouch down further into the mattress. His head resting on the second pillow in the bed. "So I guess whenever you feel like talking about it, I'll be around to listen."

Leo smiled at his brother's words. The comfort they provided was something that he greatly needed. Even though he goofed off a lot, Mikey had his moments when he was able to pick up on exactly how to comfort and make a situation better.

"Thank you," Leo whispered. But Mikey had already drifted off to sleep in the bed. And that was fine.

There was a light a knock on the doorjamb. Leo looked up to find Donnie and Raph standing in the doorway.

"Everything okay in here?" Raph asked. Knowing them they had probably been there the whole time, but didn't want to interrupt.

"Yeah," Leo managed to answer. His throat protested speaking, and he had to fight the urge to cough.

Donnie walked over to him, a glass of water had apparently materialized in his hand, but Leo wasn't going to complain. Donnie handed it over to Leo, and he took a sip of water. It was something he had desperately needed, and was grateful that Donnie considered to get it for him.

After Leo had his fill, he passed the glass back to Donnie. He placed the half full cup on the bedside table where Leo could reach it again if he needed it.

Donnie took a step back, and gave Leo a smile. "Is there anything else I can get you?"

Leo didn't really have the energy to form a verbal response. Talking was something he was still getting used to doing again. So he returned Donnie's smile and shook his head.

"Okay, we'll let you get some sleep then. We'll be just down the hall if you need us."

Donnie walked back over to Raph, who was waiting quietly in the hall. Before he left, he wanted to make sure Leo had everything he needed.

"Do you want me to take him back to his room?" Raph pointed to Mikey who was completely passed out. Again Leo shook his head. "Okay. Night, Leo." Raph said, and then he and Donnie went back to their own beds.

For tonight, Leo could use the company.

* * *

><p><strong>Thank you for reading! I hope you like. For this section of the story there was a wonderful piece of art done by Prideling on tumblr. You can find it on her account.<strong>


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